Bros

and I survived a bro week of camping at the Black Sea.

Panda Bear-Bros

Animal Planet

I leave for Krasnodar tomorrow to go camping at the Black Sea. It won't be nearly as much fun as LARPING or Live Action Role Play, but I'll pass the time by watching grass grow or something daring!

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Yesterday I took off on a venture in southern Moscow to the Uzkow Estate, which is now happily a sanitarium. The giant stone manor on the hill was gorgeous, as were the surrounding gardens and ornamental lakes and suc, but it didn't really sit with me very well. The tall white trees and the 200 year old kookie monster house made the place pretty creepy, so I didn't poke around the hundred acre woods for long. But what made the whole trip especially creepy was not only the sanitarium, or the transvestite nature enthusiasts, or the LARPers larping, or the fact that the Uzkoe cathedral now houses some of Hitler's library, but the fact that exactly one year ago this month police arrested Alexander Pichuskin, a man later convicted of killing 62 individuals in this Uzkoe Estate forest. That's one individual for every square on the chessboard. Police could only prove 43 of the supposed 62 instances, so I watched where I stepped.  I went a dinosaur museum afterwards to get cheered up and reassured, because nothing reassures you more of the gift of life than real live dinosaur bones. Nuahh.

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Pray that my nature siege next week is this exciting

College

Pinto: What's your major?

Pinto's date: Primative cultures.

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For everyone off to school this week, I wish you the best of luck! 

I'm a year behind but I'm coming up. 

Love.

Brilliant Television

I get by with the help of Harrison The Light Bringing High Priest of Social Revelry & Gladness Ballard. He shared a video with me today, which inspired me to post three brilliant music videos, including his recommendation.

Behold, the Lost Art of the Brilliant Music Video

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Unkle-Rabbit In Your Headlights

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Who in the world is this guy? What is he whispering? And why is he in the tunnel?

You absolutely need to watch this video until the very end. 

You won't be disappointed.

Cut Chemist-1st Big Break

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This acid doused merry go round bboy Daft Punk music video by DJ Shadow's wunderkind Cut Chemist was the first music video ever shot with a 360 degree panoramic lense. 

Lysergic bliss on Mars. Thanks HB.

Bat For Lashes-What's a Girl To Do?

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To date, one of the scariest bits of cinema I have ever seen. The progression of this video completely freaked me out because I had no idea what was coming. The creepiest song about falling out of love is coupled perfectly with a masterpiece of a music video. 

Highly recommended.

From Russia With Love

What do I love about Moscow?

+ Fruit Juice

Russia does fruit so well. Fruit is found everywhere, from random trees to fruit pancakes to in your face courtesy of gypsy fruit vendors. But it's the fruit juice that tops it all. The neighborhood store has an entire aisle dedicated exclusively to fruit juice of many shapes and sizes. But what you say? So does Harris Teeter! Nahh right friends, there are only four aisles in this store. With such a medley, you can't go wrong. Get Juice.

+ Sushi and books before dawn

Moscow is more 24 Hours than New York City, with around the clock bookstores and sushi joints proving it so. Sushi just before dawn? I shouldn't exist but it does. Respublica gives you something to read while you eat as you watch the drunk gymnastics of the nightlife leftovers stumbling home after that CRAZY tuesday night. 

+ Pirated Movies

Who needs Blockbuster when copyright infringement is so easy? As soon as a movie is in theaters here, BAM it's on the street for 100 rubles ($4) with a comlementary google image on the front of plastic oddment. Sound, language, and even content can't really be guarenteed but tis a bargin.

+ Settling matters "Po Chelovechesky"

Bribery and corruption are social variables that are absolutely uncalled for in life if Russia is ever to call itself a truly civilized country. But the fact is, in a society where not playing by the rules is a rule, it makes some sense to go with the flow. Since mankind is inherently flawed, duplicity like this goes down everywhere in the world, but not nearly as obviously blatant as Russia. This is as defining to Russia as Vodka is, which should be a breath of fresh air for those concerned with the global political scheme of things, because of philosophical concept of causality known as Karma. There's a flip side to everything Russia.

+ The Metro

In a country where few things run on time, the speed and efficiency of Moscow's Metro is truly  a wonder. How many countries have metro stations that double as museums? In fact, the Moscow metro holds the distinction of having the largest ridership in the world. 8 million people a day get to and from work relatively without a hassle, not counting aggressive drunks, power welding policemen, and the occasionaly mob of skinheads. All for only 19 rubles!

+ Absolutely Bizarre Fashion

Of course every city has it's oddities, but no city displays Dada fashionistas better than Moscow. Are you wearing anything under that giant mink coat, sir? A Speedo? Really? In the subway? Right on! Moscow's Alice in Wonderland sense of fashion gives people a grand feeling of impunity, an interactive catwalk besides the mirror at home. Leopard print waist long leather jacket? Definitely authentic in a post-meaningful kinda way.

+ Gypsy Taxis

Try this in Nashville sometime. Stand at the side of the darkest, most out of the way street in Belle Meade at 3am with your hand in the air like your trying to hail a cab or something. You'll be standing there for weeks, unless a friendly Bufford T. Justice rolls your way first. Try it in Moscow and within minutes a 1985 Soviet style Lada will roll up with the window down and three gold teeth and a cigarette will ask "Vam Kuda?" Just go with it, because "Vam Kuda" is a invitation to be ignored elsewhere in the world. Love cheap gypsy taxis.

+ Beer in Movie Theaters

When Jules wows Vincent in Pulp Fiction by telling him that the French can drink in movie theaters, you looked at your kabillion dollar Diet Coke with jealousy and disappointment. There's nothing like a cold beer to help you deal with the fact that the people in the theater that aren't talking to there friends are talking on their cell phones. 

More to come.

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Sun music for the last of Summer

T.Rex-Mambo Sun

Magic

It's still summer here in Moscow and the overall pace isn't really different than anywhere else in the world. Everything's a bit slower. I have trouble keeping to myself when people complain about the red roasting 75 degree heat everyday. There's even a breeze. Soo miserable. I've found some outdoor basketball courts in my venturing and it is absolutely worth the two hours it takes to unlose myself from the maze of subways. It's enough just watching the Eurobros and their mullets go at each other. Getting in on the fray is a different story, but I've managed to hold my own. Strange glances are just one of the many affinities I've gotten used to.

I've been keeping up with the Olympics pretty well, only because the other news to read is War. The politics of the Bejing Olympics have been just as unbelievable as the athletics, not in the awe  inspiring Wow Did He Just Do That Michael Phelps unbelieveable sense, but in the What Is Really Going On Here rationale. For example...

* The darling nine year old Lin Miaoke who sang so enchantingly at the opening ceremony actually lip synched the entire song. The original voice, seven year old Yang Peiyi, got the shaft from officials because she just wasn't cute enough for China's desired image under the world's discerning eye. 

* The spectacualar fireworks the world viewed from their boobtube during the opening ceremony turned out to be digitally inserted, because not all of the lights and colors witnessed by all in attendence could be "successfully captured" when rendered through a camera lense.

* China's grand flag atop a flagpole in the main statium waved gently in the breeze for all to see, never mind the fact that hardly a breeze could be felt at all, since the flag's grandiose was powered by a hidden airblower. 

* Olympic organizers are now admitting to the fact that the reason you don't see many open seats at some of the lesser known events (synchronized gymnastics!) is because a herd of volunteers are rounded up on the spot to fill available seats in choice camera angles.

* What about the Cute as a Panda Bear Chinese Gymnastic's team? Local papers all over China have reported uncovering census documents and such that state the actual age for almost half the girls on the team is around 14, maybe even 12, and definitely not the required age of 16. Even so, they all weigh about as much as Tinkerbell. Perception is everything, and I suppose a little chicanery here and there doesn't hurt. 

In the 2004 Olympic Games, Luciando Pavarotti lip synched at the opening ceremonys. But he was old and large and ill and no one seemed to mind because it was still amazing and technically the same person. He could have entered a what? Olympic catagory like synchronized gymanstics and no one would have minded. But the Bejing hijinks are different and perception is everything. Let's pretend that you get off the plane in Bejing and all you see around you is air. But there isn't a single gulp of oxygen to found anywhere. 

What you see isn't always what you get. 

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Michael Phelps listens to Lil Wayne "I'm Me" before eight gold medals.

The genius of Miles Davis explained.

White House DJ battle

Arounds

Squashed

The Georgian Russia Conflict In Only Three Sentences

After Georgia broke away from Russia, South Ossetia and another province tried to break away from Georgia, succeeding autonomy-wise but failing map-wise. As Georgia cozied up to the United States, Russia cozied up to South Ossetia, deploying “peace-keepers” and distributing Russian passports like candy. After Georgia decided to crush South Ossetia and its rebels into submission, Russia decided to “defend the peace” … by crushing Georgia—or at least its military—into submission.

Thanks Squashed

Swim Fan

"...Three sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions, and mayonnaise, add one omelet, a bowl of grits, and three slices of french toast with powdered sugar, then wash down with three chocolate chip pancakes."

-Michael Phelps' daily breakfast-

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America

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Ghostface Killah-Underwater

Raw Shark Text

The last great book I read was The Raw Shark Texts. I actually finished it over a month ago, before I sailed off overseas and it's still on my mind. The book was given to me by a very wise man, and I openly apologize for not giving it back yet. The Raw Shark Texts combines a dizzy set of interesting concepts that I immediatly found fascinating.
But it's also me, so you maybe find out on yo own.
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The shark on the cover became a motif of Thought, a conceptual creature that lives and feeds off ideas. Eric Sanderson is introduced as a man who does not know who he is, much like the movie Memento. He finds himself suddenly diagnosed with memory loss due to a "dissociative fugue" brought on by the death of his lover Clio Ames in a boating accident while on holiday in Greece. With the help of a psychiatrist and a mysterious stream of letters written by the First Eric Sanderson, the Second Eric Sanderson is suddenly tossed into two worlds all at once and in classic heroic tragic fashion, he sets off on a conceptual and literal quest to find his lost love. But before he finds the love of his life, he must find his life first. Author Steven Hall throwns a circus of ideas at the reader in a rush and it's almost too overwhelming at times. Sharks, typography, parallel universes, unspace, and finally love all at once are hard to swallow.
But it's eventually worth it.
No doubt.

080808

Last night was my first official Party All Night experience in Moscow and it was marvelous. When I said earlier that sneaker culture was an endangered species in Moscow, that was the voice of naivete. Solyanka prides itself as the best Hip Hop Soul Funk club in Moscow, and last night was Yum Yum Thursday with special guest A'La Fu of the legendary Big Dada record label in Scotland. Whatever. It was fantastic. I got to meet the man of the evening DJ Pasha Fookin' who played mashups for his entire three hours late late night slot. They probably couldn't compare to the famous Hood Internet, but it was a much needed change of pace from the shlocky techno of other places, played by some guy who looks like Herbie who waves his fingers in the air to the music like a gay guy picking out muffins at Bread & Co. The crowd last night was the reason we couldn't leave last night. It was all art students, creatives, and generally Cobra Snakesque young folks who booooogied all night long. When in Rome...

At the end of the evening, Pasha invited me to 080808 exhibition at Vinzavod which is Moscow's Contemporary Art Center. I actually ventured down there earlier this week and it was pretty interesting only if you like exhibits highlighting the art of 19th Century French Nude Models. So I wasn't too excited until he mentioned Air Max. 

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After seven good hours of sleep, Max and I made our way to Vinzavod. We met Pasha and two girls, ate something, and then sought out 080808.  I got the surprise of my life. Sneakers aren't invisible in Moscow during the daytime after all. The exhibition highlighed the 1980 Moscow Olympic games and 80's street culture with exclusive Nike Air Max's and other Nike "1980" merchandise on display. Two giant screens rolled straight footage from Grand Theft Auto. The DJ rolled UK grime and dubstep like Dizzee Rascal and The Streets. It was pretty surreal, since it was nothing like the Russia I knew until about twelve hours earlier. I had been waiting for a Saturday like this.

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Andre 3000 has Ten Essentials

Here's one

John Legend and Andre 3000-Green Light (MSTRKRFT remix)

Yamrocks

Sources tell me that the Kings of Leon have the rough draft of a US tour at hand, with the finishing touch being Music City USA. It begins September 23rd with an intimate club show at Webster Hall New York City with The Whigs. I love the Kings of Leon and I can't wait for Jordan Rutledge to tell me all about that show. Other than that date, I be not permitted to release the rest of the dates just yet, but of course they're hitting everywhere in the United States, including a very special one night stand in Moscow actually.Wow. Chances. The first single off Only By The Night can be found on their Myspace page. It's called Sex On Fire. 

I'm in love.

Update

Tour dates are now on Myspace as well. 

Have you go get 'em some.

Burial Update

Apparently, our mystery man Burial deemed it a wise PR move to remain a mystery no longer, especially since he's in the running for the championed Mercury Prize. A blog post on Burial's official Myspace page earlier today laid claim to his identity as a "lowkey South Londoner by the name of Will Bevan" who avoided the trappings of an identity because he "just wanted it to be about the tunes." The official statement can be found at the Almighty Pitchfork Dot Com. There you have it? Can you tell I'm excited? 

Spooky

This is pretty intersting. So every year, the Mercury Prize is awarded to the Best Album released in the United Kingdom or Ireland. Nominations for the award are chosen by a exclusive panel of select industry executives who are noted for their tendency to select outside chances to win instead of the favorites. This year, Radiohead and dubstep maestro Burial lead the nominations. Radiohead's In Rainbows and amazing and I could go forever. However, Burial's release Untrue struck a mysterious of genius within music connoisseurs and could very appropriately win as well. The lucky winners of the Mercury Prize are required to perform in studio with the executives in attendence. That's where it gets interesting, Burial has never performed a concert. Ever. Even more so, no one knows who he is. He has released two fantastic albums and three EP's all under a guise of secrecy. If he wins, who knows? 

Who makes us dance to this ghostly music?

The Sun UK tabloid is on a tear trying find out who this masked man is anyway too. 

Who is Burial? Find out for yourself.

Highly Recommended

Burial-Archangel

Burial-Near Dark

Naturally

As much as hip hop is a risk in Russia, colour is an even bigger one. The immensity of wealth here comes with an aura of professionalism, which of course is black and white. Maybe it's the cold that sucks all the charm and woo out of people. At this club Fabrique the other night, I was a man amongst suits. If it weren't for lights and music, the faces and laces of Sneaker Culture would not mingle well with the upper reaches of Russian society.

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Rustam and I helped our friend Anton's family out of their flat and into a new house just outside Moscow yesterday. His mom is super creative. Professionally, she is an interior designer, but she not only conjured up all the decor, she architected the whole house in one shehbang. Plus, she made sure to include a sauna. I might have lost 15 pounds I could not afford to lose. But the homecooked meal brought me back to life again. It was worth it. 

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Am I doing this blog thing right? Is there a wrong and right to blogging? 

What's a great song to wake up to?

Kid Cudi- The Biggest Grinder

Can you believe this dude is drumming for the Mars Volta?

Yessssir

Rats!

 Be Your Own Pet isn't a band anymore!

Down Under

I got a choice slice of Russian nightlife the other night when Rustam and I ventured to Propaganda. It was built in the early ninties, which makes it a fossil on the Russian nightlife timeline. There is no cover charge, but the catch is the "face patrol", or the men at the door that literally foreordain your social standing in the decision to gift you admitance or not. I don't know if it was a close call or not, but we got in thank you face patrol. The club itself was about half the size of City Hall Nashville (RIP), so it housed about 300 people or so. The interior was an unique combination of brick walls, pipes under the ceiling, large plants, and candles so I liked it right from the getgo. It's amazing how many beautiful people come out to party on ordinary Thursday nights. Rustam knew the DJ that opened the evening for a British guy, so that was cool and whatnot. But the british guy absolutely killed it. The evening's theme was Deep House, which is amazing in it's own light. His touche to the sound made all the different in and out of this world. A mingle of steady house beats became layered with Boards of Canada-esque whisps of sound and spots of laser dots and drops that made it sound like spring rain in Space. All of that worked to complement a nonstop blast of very African drums. It was bohemian. Deep Cosmic African House music. 

Even the two hour walk home couldn't kill my enthusiasm. 

But it came close.